I understand that a number people who would be speak out are those who have something to say, but it’s a bit discouraging to see some of the stories here. Side note, I worked in a nursery for a bit. ._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ{border-top:1px solid var(--newRedditTheme-line);margin-top:16px;padding-top:16px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN{margin:0;padding:0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:14px;font-weight:400;line-height:21px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;margin:8px 0}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ.QgBK4ECuqpeR2umRjYcP2{opacity:.4}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label{font-size:12px;font-weight:500;line-height:16px;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._2NbKFI9n3wPM76pgfAPEsN ._2btz68cXFBI3RWcfSNwbmJ label svg{fill:currentColor;height:20px;margin-right:4px;width:20px}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:justify;justify-content:space-between;padding:0;width:100%}._3Qx5bBCG_O8wVZee9J-KyJ ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_ svg{display:inline-block;height:12px;width:12px}.isInButtons2020 ._4OtOUaGIjjp2cNJMUxme_{padding:0 12px}.isInButtons2020 ._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{font-family:Noto Sans,Arial,sans-serif;font-size:12px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:unset;line-height:16px;text-transform:unset}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F{--textColor:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80);font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;color:var(--textColor);fill:var(--textColor);opacity:1}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F._2UlgIO1LIFVpT30ItAtPfb{--textColor:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColor);--textColorHover:var(--newRedditTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetTextColorShaded80)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:active,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:hover{color:var(--textColorHover);fill:var(--textColorHover)}._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F:disabled,._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[data-disabled],._1ra1vBLrjtHjhYDZ_gOy8F[disabled]{opacity:.5;cursor:not-allowed} My husband has said repeatedly: ‘If I knew then what I know now…NO!’ Yet, I’ve never seen a better father… ever. Adoption Regret. .c_dVyWK3BXRxSN3ULLJ_t{border-radius:4px 4px 0 0;height:34px;left:0;position:absolute;right:0;top:0}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3{-ms-flex-align:center;align-items:center;display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;-ms-flex-pack:start;justify-content:flex-start;margin-top:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._33jgwegeMTJ-FJaaHMeOjV{border-radius:9001px;height:32px;width:32px}._1OQL3FCA9BfgI57ghHHgV3 ._1wQQNkVR4qNpQCzA19X4B6{height:16px;margin-left:8px;width:200px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx{display:-ms-flexbox;display:flex;margin:12px 0}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._29TSdL_ZMpyzfQ_bfdcBSc{-ms-flex:1;flex:1}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx .JEV9fXVlt_7DgH-zLepBH{height:18px;width:50px}._39IvqNe6cqNVXcMFxFWFxx ._3YCOmnWpGeRBW_Psd5WMPR{height:12px;margin-top:4px;width:60px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN{height:18px;margin-bottom:4px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2E9u5XvlGwlpnzki78vasG{width:230px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN.fDElwzn43eJToKzSCkejE{width:100%}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._2kNB7LAYYqYdyS85f8pqfi{width:250px}._2iO5zt81CSiYhWRF9WylyN._1XmngqAPKZO_1lDBwcQrR7{width:120px}._3XbVvl-zJDbcDeEdSgxV4_{border-radius:4px;height:32px;margin-top:16px;width:100%}._2hgXdc8jVQaXYAXvnqEyED{animation:_3XkHjK4wMgxtjzC1TvoXrb 1.5s ease infinite;background:linear-gradient(90deg,var(--newCommunityTheme-field),var(--newCommunityTheme-inactive),var(--newCommunityTheme-field));background-size:200%}._1KWSZXqSM_BLhBzkPyJFGR{background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBackgroundColor);border-radius:4px;padding:12px;position:relative;width:auto} Those that are happy probably don't post here. I wish there was a good way to know how many adoptees are actually happy with their adoptions, and how many had no pain at all. Thanks for the heartfelt sharing. Not to mention I see many happy adoptees here as well, and I’d hate to see them undercounted or unrecognized! I went to stay at a home for young mums in Grey Lynn when I was eight months pregnant. We are blessed that he has a great job with a great company and we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs and affords us the ability to buy things we want and not just things we need. ._3Im6OD67aKo33nql4FpSp_{border:1px solid var(--newCommunityTheme-widgetColors-sidebarWidgetBorderColor);border-radius:5px 5px 4px 4px;overflow:visible;word-wrap:break-word;background-color:var(--newCommunityTheme-body);padding:12px}.lnK0-OzG7nLFydTWuXGcY{font-size:10px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:12px;text-transform:uppercase;padding-bottom:4px;color:var(--newCommunityTheme-navIcon)} I don't regret it, but having depression and anxiety, I sometimes can get a little emotional about it. seeking a copy of your original birth certificate. He loves to cuddle, is fixed, and came with everything I … Derek is an amazing, magical, smart, funny, brave, compassionate and loving kid! I too am always baffled at the hatred towards APs, and hardly any towards BPs. However, if you take the leap to adopt, I can all but guarantee it will not end in regret. ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{display:block;padding:0 16px;width:100%}.isNotInButtons2020 ._33axOHPa8DzNnTmwzen-wO{font-size:14px;font-weight:700;letter-spacing:.5px;line-height:32px;text-transform:uppercase} If you're going into any type of parenting just to dress the kids up for insta photos, you'll be massively disappointed when the kids manage to get themselves grubby in two seconds flat. Surprisingly after the adoption and during the vet visit, I was informed he is FIV+ and is presenting AIDS symptoms and signs (eye and nose viral infections, anemia, leukopenia weight loss). There is still a good chance that she will be coming back to me, if her present adoption disrupts, but I'm sure that she has experienced trauma in the 2 yrs that she has been gone since both adoptive mothers couldn't stand her. We therefore have no family historical information for her. If you adopt a child of another race or ethnic group, be prepared to keep them within their culture and community, even if that means moving to another city, and understand differences in experiences. Do some reading of blogs, articles, or books by adult adoptees if you can, including those labelled "special needs", transracial, etc. I didnt sign up for this to save someone and get gratitude and ride off into the sunset. My mom thought that she needed a friend. I've wanted a pet cat for most of my life and I finally had the opportunity to adopt a 1 year old cat yesterday. I just adopted a five year old, really sweet cat a week ago and really regret it. I guess then that this issue isn't one that's exclusive to adoptive families, as my parents treated me and my sister like this too. Those that are happy probably don't post here. Hi everyone. He'd jump in my arms and sleep. It's made things much more pleasant for us. ._3-SW6hQX6gXK9G4FM74obr{display:inline-block;vertical-align:text-bottom;width:16px;height:16px;font-size:16px;line-height:16px} Others we know who have adopted or are adopted have similar feelings. I'm sure everyone wants the perfect child but those high risk children need a home and care as much or more than healthy babies. I think if you’re prepared to address mental health concerns and supportive if your child wants to connect with their birth family, then you’ll be ok. Kind of a general question, but the other question about UK social services putting kids up for adoption before the final ruling of abuse made me wonder. Regardless of the numbers, I really appreciate that we have a sub where every adoptive experience is welcomed. I know that there is heartache and frustration when an adopted child is sick or requires special attention just as there is with bio children. 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