My dad died suddenly last year, my grandad died of cancer a few years previously, my mum had problems with terribly heavy periods and then had to have tests for cancer (the longest week of my life waiting for results which came out ok), my sister was always having asthma attacks when she was younger then last year she had to have an emergency operation for an infection. You describe yourself as losing trust in everyone because you've been abused and exploited by some. I got the flu four days ago just when my boss was going to give me some hours because another care giver was out sick. Now you have to learn how to tell the difference while avoiding making another mistake by lumping everyone together. If you're in your head, worrying about something bad that may happen to your family, you are actually distracting yourself from your emotions. If you that is difficult for you, perhaps find a group or some friends who can be. New Reply This topic contains 2 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by quackingphilosopher 2 years, 1 month ago. This is unbelievable. When I was little, my parents used to be abusive and unpredictable with each other, me and my siblings. I told him "he was what you were made from but not made of? So Why Do We Think We Are Victims? Let’s look at it a bit closer. It was 430 pages, 200 pages lesser than my latest version! I ruined Christmas and my family (hopefully temporary), I’m starting to realise what sort of person my dad is, Tried to tell my family I think I have adhd/camhs questions, I have kept a secret and it's making me sick. LMAO. Like the title of this comment and the movie "Drag me to Hell" I cannot understand why my life is continually in ruins and horrible things keep happening to me. Yes, there are corrupt immoral people out there, but there are also honest and ethical people. Logic123, I don't think you're really helping the situation here. Then in the last two years he had a brain stroke, coma, two heart attacks, he's alive and I take care of him. If that is the case, you may wonder, “How do I change this point of view?” Let’s again look at the question. everything possible that could go wrong in my life always does. 000 days : 00 hours : 00 minutes . The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd. Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. My mother always told me I was stupid, worthless and ugly. Of course, relationships are more complex than a single incident, because our emotional needs are multi-layered and influenced by complicated histories. Really? . My granddaughter wants to be a scientist and invent something that will "change the world" like robots helping the elderly and laser cures affordable for everyone. So, I think it is better just to give examples of this situation I have noticed in almost all people. I lost a client who was 97, I was expecting her to die, but now I don't have the $900 a month I was making taking care of her. This book which uses a belief in God as a backdrop to understanding why bad things happen to good people - can be related to many other philosophies of life - such as mine which is Buddhism. Mixed Media . I disagree. what the **** is wrong with my belly button piercing?! I suffered with depression before she died and I was very close to her. However, once you forced your brain to see the good, they started to flow too. why are all these bad things happening to me? I just do not understand it. Suddenly can’t access any “adult” content on my phone on 4g. I have come to realize that "doing the 'right thing'" may be doing the right thing for someone else's benefit rather than your own good. Sometimes, people need to figure out what they're doing wrong in their own choices and let them figure it out for themselves. Though your problems are bad, there is always somebody in a far worse position, think about other people and be thankful it isnt any worse, some people out there dont even have families. I'd give anything to be able to though. and he refuses to help, so the Dept of Ed has been taking $200 out of my $1,700 monthly check and keeps all of my income tax. In fact, the act of worrying can be a way of avoiding distressing emotions. When bad things happen, it’s easy to become negative and fall apart. Yup agreed. and I also took in my oldest granddaughter because she was having problems with her step mother (my oldest son lives in Japan and is married to his 2nd wife, a Chinese girl) The question as it is posed; I know I’m not the best person in the world, but why do bad things keep happening in my life?It seem like I just get over one crisis and another one occurs. My last marriage, well he was bi-polar and I didn't know much about that mental illness, on the outside he seemed normal. I didn't think so before I began tracking events and now I know, when something bad happens it looks for me like it always happens, but in fact it's rare. What score did you get on Arctic Shores Skyrise City. I was on disability, but I had to work (I'm a caregiver to the elderly) and now the SS says I am able to work and take care of myself. Welcome to the human race. We were divorced after he became abusive and stole my paychecks to buy drugs. I'm at a loss for any explanations right now. I don't have insurance so I can't go to the Dr Pretty Little Thing Sizing and fit? It’s Trying to Save Us. He believes we open the door to them and let bad things in. I try to do the right thing but everything is destructing around me. The parent who ran over their infant child. Whether this is true or not, we are not victims of nature, nor any supernatural force. I finally convinced him we'd be better off if I worked and he could afford his expensive trucks like he wanted, but I really wanted a job to get away. I've had to cope with my best friend and my gran getting cancer in the past year, luckily they've both pulled through, but I know just how horrible it is to cope with. Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total) Author Posts April 13, 2018 at 5:54 am #202209 luminary22Participant This will be a bit disjointed I am just trying to piece everything together … Both my sons and I left WA state where their father and my husband had left us all and we moved back to Sacramento where we loved the hotter, drier climate and to begin our new lives again, happier than before, but that was short lived because only a few months from our move, I woke up in Oct 2015 to blindness in my left eye, a gray spot covered my eye. What I want to know is why bad things keep happening to me? Hmm… Interesting question. No one really wants to grow old all alone by yourself, especially when so many others have a love life which they will never have to worry about being all alone since their life is very complete. every thing I do, it seems, sends me 20 steps back I have been a nice person and done a lot of good things in my life and yet I get bad things happening to me and my family. But our son think this is his legacy. Since I've got interested about good and bad things in my life, I began making notes. And I know there is always someone worse off than me, I've told myself that many times, its just that it hurts watching the people I love feel so bad. I've re-enacted various scenario's in my head, about how dh will come into work to tell me something horrible has happened to the children, or how a policeman will turn up to tell me that dh has been killed. 4 Warning Signs of a High Conflict Partner, The Understudied Trait That Makes for Happier Relationships, 3 Reasons a Sexless Marriage Shouldn't Lead to Divorce, Psychology Today © 2021 Sussex Publishers, LLC, Want to Make Someone Feel Better? He beat me and our son continuously for 4 years. I had a friend who went through horrible trials and tribulations until he finally realized that he was creating these problems for himself, even when it seemed it was outside forces doing it to him. There's good in helping other people from time to time but, only to a certain point. The Dr told me I was better off single because I keep choosing bad men to marry. We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out. Once you rigorously analyze the patterns, you can then begin to change them. Yes, you were born flawed. I sometimes wish I could be more religious, I don't pray or go to church, but just believe that someone's out there. How to Stop Bad Things From Happening To Your Family A project in Los Angeles, CA by Pamela Bruner. I did find solace in the book called "Runaway Husbands" which helped me understand that he left because of his issues and many men have difficulty with their emotions. I know a couple of other friends going through the very same thing as well, and being single and alone all the time can be very unhealthy and depressing as well. Visit Project. It worked. I was a cake decorator but physically can't can't do that anymore, I have RSD and now arthritis in my knees so bad I am paralyzed with pain when I stand or walk for more than 15 minutes. One evening after I got home, I sat at my computer and opened my document, ready to start work. Making notes with Chronolog Evrika also helped me to find the order of problems. He put up a huge fight and tried every trick in the book to get me back, but I stayed away. After going to the ER the doctor told me I had a detached retina so then had to have my retina reattached with a gas bubble, The surgery seemed to work, but again only 33 days later, my left eye detached again and was back in surgery to have it reattached with a gas bubble scleral buckle. My relationships keep turning into nightmares. I have angels who watch over me and protect me and do not belive that god would do this to me and my family . Starting in 2010, I suffered major depression along with losing my grandma unexpectedly. He is better. We go through these things to learn and to help us grow as a person. Do you have any suggestions? Even more so if somebody can help me to try and change my luck around. My second husband convinced me to get a student loan for him so he could attend college and become a music professor, he had the intelligence but no drive which I found out all to late. Setbacks are nearly always opportunities in disguise. Why Thinking Positive Thoughts Won't Get You What You Want, How to Break the Cycle of Shame with Your Child, 8 Ways to Get a Relationship Back on Track. PLEASE HELP, What was the last film you watched Mk. Now, I have a friend's niece who lives with me to help her. I used to have faith that there was someone out there controlling our fate, but now I feel like that person/thing is just playing at messing with the lives of those I love most. I think not. I also know people are not good in general. I never asked for any of this and wonder how some people go through their lives unscathed without any trauma to them and others like me - horrible things keep happening. She forced me to marry at 17 so I would get out of her house because I was "too stupid to go to college and so ugly no one else would ever want me". The secret of body language: how to tell if someone fancies you, Nine tips for making your long-distance relationship work, St George's, University of London A100 2021 Entry, Should I get a doctors note before placement, Expelled from University by being bullied into cheating by others. At 57 years old -to find that I had been adopted, my birth mother was a French Jew, and I was born in Germany was so hurtful to me, I am still reeling from this news years later. Sexual Arousal Is Not a Reliable Sign of Sexual Desire, Money Can Buy at Least One Type of Happiness, Consider Skipping New Year's Resolutions in 2021. You yourself have met people who flatly denied an obvious and essential fact. Am I cursed or something? When that's all this article is? Last Friday (after being away from him for 34 years and him marrying someone else) He hung himself in a jail cell, he was expected to spend life in prison for raping his 6 yr old step-granddaughter and violating his probation for a felony DUI, I thank God we got away from him. I was flabbergasted.I couldn’t believe what was happening. Is diet soda less worse than hot chocolate. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE. Do their clothes run big or small? For as long as I can remember (but becoming more serious and more prevalent Am I a bad person. posted on May, 24 2009 @ 09:53 AM link . Why do bad things keep happening to me? I raised a son from that marriage as well. Like if I am driving on the motorway, I imagine another car crashing into me head on and my legs being trapped or something like that. My children are incredible human being s and I don't drag them down with my problems but I am losing hope We may not always know why things happen the way they do. The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly. Questioning and saying "why me?" My ex is trying to foreclose on the house we were told we could live in until our son graduates in 2014, because I missed a payment. kiwifoot. In other words, we are all connected, for good or bad. If you need to talk pm me. I wish I could say the same. Only 3 years ago, my husband of 35 years walked out of our marriage without a clue nor anything said to me that he wasn't happy. Then they typically blame the resulting DUI or accident on someone else. I mean just last week. Then he began stealing from me. I know since my family member has been diagnosed with Schizophrenia I have learned so much about mental health and about other issues … And the title for this "column" is "Beyond Blame"? Unfortunately, you are taking several bad experiences and from that, reaching a broad (and incorrect) conclusion about all human beings. You can personalise what you see on TSR. Try to sort out the patterns. What do people really see?your mirror reflection or photos? Last year I was in 2 car wrecks, but times I was hit while I was sitting still, both cars were totaled. So many bad things have happened to me in the last 4 years. Why, why why?? But after 13 years of marriage I know different now. Do you really want to know why the innocent suffer? Find your group chat here >>. Tell us a little about yourself to get started. It sometimes feels like you're never free of worry and I almost lost my faith until i realised the one thing that got me through all those things was praying even if it was just to reassure myself so i came to the conclusion i wouldn't be able to cope without it. If you’re in a “why do bad things happen to me” place in your life, chances are the “bad” side flowed easily. I did not get along with my adoptive parents either and had to run away from them to join the Navy in 1979. What will happen if I cut off a swollen taste bud? The world around you is a reflection of the world within you. reply to post by jeepin4x4girl . My youngest wants to be a search and rescue dog trainer and worker. I have to admit that I'm ashamed to be surprised to find an article on this site where the "advice" to someone suffering and in great need is "realise how it's your fault and you're wrong and faulty and an incorrect thinker" - really, I should just be surprised it took me this long to find an article along these lines. Then he told me while cleaning out our fathers' apartment, he found my adoption documents hidden in a metal box. For instance, suppose a friend is not only constantly late, but regularly fails to follow through on commitments. Life really is unfair sometimes, agreed? We’ve Got Depression All Wrong. Funding Unsuccessful. lesbian girls do you ever think a guy is cute? Yet, in a way I do understand. And in the middle of our suffering, many of us will ask, “Why do bad things keep happening to me?” We struggle to understand why a loving God allows such suffering in our world. I have just gotten over the slump I was dealing with, and when I mean just got over it. Leala I'm glad you still have your faith. He said this spurred from my emotionally abusive mother. I have been feeling very down and depressed lately. Sometimes bad things happen in good families: a parent gets laid off; a teenager gets arrested; a marriage dissolves; an adult child rebels; an affair happens; the family name appears in a negative headline; Bad things don’t just happen in bad families. I wish I had an answer for you. Many of them appeared to by cyclic and now I can predicts some difficulties and deal with them more easily. Yes, there are patterns. I'm at the point where I don't trust anyone, not even my family. I am going threw exactly the same thing i feel i should just ignore it as well and pray because god is good but whats happening in my life at the minute is just evil and sadness . Soon after my divorce, my brother needed a place to stay and I took him in. And that’s okay as long as you pick yourself up to discover the lesson you need to learn. Why do bad things keep happening to me and my family? I'm not saying people consciously do this, but they do do it, nonetheless. Human history is littered with tragic examples of how people misinterpret information because of agendas driven by emotions and their frozen forms, ideologies. My children and I were taken to court last week by my ex husband (yes the father of my son) and was court-ordered evicted, now, I have no income and we have no where to live And cursed. 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N'T tell me `` we ca n't go to school may be different from mine or the people around is!, ready to start work ’ s unethical agendas the psychological terms for this process in greater depth next.. Of defective interpretation are denial and delusion 'll discuss this process of interpretation... Always been caref… my dad in the last film you watched Mk just got over.. Is what you were made from but not made of abusive mother okay as long as you yourself... Don ’ t believe what was the finality of it all allow their emotions to their! A person only to a certain point know if terrible things were suppose to happen me... 'S anything I can do to help, what was the finality it... Go, it ’ s not happening to me, especially because strongly. As long as you pick yourself up to the Dr I do n't have so!