These stories are supposed to help you decide if adoption is the right fit for you and your family. My brief opinion of your fears is this; If you have considered foster care/adoption because of what you can do for the kids, you will likely be successful with effort, time, love and patience, and by successful, I mean happy with your choice. They are hurt people, often traumatized, and have additional struggles because of those things. After the first few months in the foster home, I was not allowed to take any food to school. If I didn’t eat my food, I had to stay the night at the kitchen table. Four months later were placed in their father’s care. Foster care is arguably one of the most broken systems in our country. There were only a few other kids there, one whom I actually knew from school so that was kind of nice. Oh, and the best part: The system told me to suck it up because I could get worse people. I think times may have changed since then (it’s been over a decade), but it deterred me from coming back to Korea to visit until recently. We went to an informational meeting to learn more and the way it was presented, it almost sounded like foster children are a nightmare to be around. No foster Kids are not bad, Yes they do have issues, because of what they went through in their past. Due to the lack of available foster homes and jails for kids, some genius decided it would be a great idea to house criminal children and foster children together because they’re all problem kids, right? The views and opinions expressed in the Real Stories are Teachers, kids, anyone. SHARE. That’s only one of so many stories I have. One of the most harrowing stories of foster care abuse is the story of Girl X. It’s rough man. I was honestly concerned, after reading so many horror stories, that surely something WILL happen eventually (i.e. The mother didn’t let the “foster kids” into our room until it was bedtime. This one was a lot worse. The first time I saw Eve she didn’t speak but had that telltale haunted look most of the girls had. We were treated as servants and bullied by the biological kids. The biological family called us “the foster kids”. It's a key lock right now, but we started sleeping with the door locked a couple years ago. They all were so nice to us, we didn’t stay there long. The dad didn’t really care for me, and I couldn’t believe that I would never see my parents again. He now lives with a foster … I had to walk on the freeway to school and it rained a lot in the town so my shoes smelt bad and my toes kinda pushed together where the shoes got smaller. Everything of mine was stolen. There was a divide in the house: us and them. Every time you accomplish something, no one is there to cheer you on. What makes things hard on them and us is a lot of times We arnt told the truth about every thing they had went through. If I was in trouble, I had to write my apologies to God hundreds of times. Washington state has been sued multiple times for millions of dollars since that time with no signs of things improving. One day I got in a fight with my sister and my parents called the police on me. I think people have had it worse than me, but I wanted to leave this comment as a reminder that there are good people out there as well. She forced me to let her bathe me even though I knew how to bathe myself as any normal eight-year-old does. I didn’t get enough food because people would take it. That was an adventure I would like to forget. I can't give you much help since we've only had him a year but it has been one of the best, most blessed years. My bedroom was in a barn outside the house, despite the fact that there were two spare rooms in the house. He told me I would be much happier in a white family than with a black family. She’d had hundreds of kids go through there so I wasn’t anything special or different, just another kid to her. From well-disguised child molesters to abusive couples who treat their pets better than their foster children, the adoption system is definitely riddled with pitfalls. I remember being in respite one time when I was living with my aunt and the lady that took me in was absolutely heartless. Some have anger/defiance issues but wouldn't you if you were abused/neglected and then moved about? I am strong and fiercely independent. Our two came into Care @ 15mo/4mo and they both were traumatized by what happened in their home and then being moved to complete strangers. I only chose to stay because if I left for another foster house, I wouldn’t be able to go to the same school, and while they were few, I made some really good friends I wasn’t willing to give up. I lived with her and her three children until midway through kindergarten. . She was 4 years old. The stories are written by the youth, for the youth. You just want quiet, and you are really ok being alone. I can’t form normal relationships, affection scares me, and I can’t remember the last time I was happy. Girl X and her brothers were allowed to return to their mother’s care in July 2002. Plus, they had 3 kids of their own. I was so confused. Most of us bonded in there, our connection was founded on mutual pain and different issues we had because of our childhoods. I went into foster care around 4 years old with my sister who was 5. I was locked out of the house (on a farm, 20 kilometers from town) during summer for up to 3 days at a time, with no food or anything to drink. Users of Adoption.com agree to the Something about the cadence of his words, the staccato of his speech. You also might ask if you can volunteer at the visitation center to get an idea of what the kids are generally like. We moved back to bio dad’s when I was 12. Then, I would be allowed to sleep. We have adopted 7 from foster care and recently added an 8th who is 23 and aged out of care with no permanent family. This was all because when she told one kid to go to her car and grab something, apparently I didn’t get the memo that I wasn’t supposed to go and that’s the reason why all that stuff happened. It was awful. We are going to be a foster/adoptive home (and possibly straight adoption depending on when we get licensed/ages) looking for school age kids, ages 5-8 most likely, since our daughter will be 8 by time we are done with everything), and I was scared too. The school I worked at put on a special Christmas party just for our foster kids, privately and confidentially, at a counselor’s big house. The boys I was sleeping with every night scared me by telling me about ghosts and whatnot. There are lots of little things that make me sad about where he’s been and other people he’s been with. Some families would have been over joyed to have him as their foster or forever child. I remember the foster parents told us they had a surprise for us for Christmas. 10 years? It got to the point where it felt like my arm was going to fall off. If you can, I highly recommend volunteering with foster kids in some capacity. She used to force us to do things we didn’t want to and tell us “If you don’t, I’ll have my grandpa shoot you”, at that age, you tend to believe anything is possible. 4) One family would punish us by having us hold our arms out and would be disciplined with a stick if our arms dropped. We were welcomed by two different support groups for fost-adopt families. I grew up in foster care from the age of 2-17. I was there for 6 years, I still love her and her husband as were they my own parents and see them as my family. Some I have bonded too and would love to take most of them home with me. This gripping tale by prolific horror novelist, Holly Riordan, will keep you on the edge of your seat! My wife, Erika, and I turned to adoption in 1991. After class, I told the teacher I was hungry and the group home had no food. We have a locking mailbox because mail was disappearing -- obviously nothing from school ever got to us -- and we were worried about bills and identity theft. Really sucked knowing they didn’t want me around and even sadder, the state was fine with it. As in, sitting in a bathtub with someone else you hardly knew. She refused to go. Y, who was 3 in February 2019, was entrusted to his biological father. We threw up, of course. I was three years old. Despite dozens of specialists, caseworkers, and doctors testifying that my biological mom was a danger to me, the state of New York refused to give my aunt full custody. These kids have been through enough. Like, ‘it’s time to pack my bags again’ (and then when he figured out, he was staying he was of course back to the ‘what’s the catch?’ face). The third and final foster care was the best one out there. My biological mom eventually surrendered custody when I was seven, after five years of legal battles, because she was pregnant with another child. Oftentimes, foster kids end up in homes that neglect their basic needs, deny them love, and reject their humanity. My dad and his wife are actually nice people and sometimes my little bro would have these sorts of suspicious looks, like ‘what’s the catch?’. The second youngest of four children born to an alcoholic drug addict (who passed away in 2008) and absent father in Runnemeade, New Jersey, Pearson was placed in foster care … there are some kids who are in foster care. Sort by. I have endless stories, but these are just a few. I discovered foster care when I was four. I’ve heard so many horror stories about the things some kids go through in the system. There were 11 people in a four-bedroom house. My bus arrived too late to get school breakfast. They’d make jokes or just comments about how I was a moody and mopey person. All in all, I don’t remember a ton from that two-month period, maybe because I don’t want to. Another family knew my sister and I were lactose intolerant and purposefully made us drink glasses of milk. Now she’s living with a sugar daddy who treats her awfully but gives her a place to live. Will it matter in 10 days? Now in my 30s, I’ve made a handful of awesome friends that are a huge help, but it took me a while to learn how to have a healthy relationship. I remember sharing a bed with the 60-year-old woman on holiday at a beach somewhere when she had an attack of conscience, suddenly believing she had angered God. This included shower stuff and soaps. I was lucky to have foster parents that cared for me as much as Elaine and Bob Wallace did. I opened my door and saw big bloody handprints on the wall across from my room and a trail leading to Eves room. I can honestly say that out of the 10 or so kids I have fostered and the nearly 100 kids in a care I have represented as their attorney, one placement was "bad" and one client was "bad." We have a lock on our bedroom door. I was eight and frail, having starved within this home and begged for more portions from school to even stay awake. 3) Another year for Christmas, the family didn’t want me there, so I was sent to a temporary house for the holidays. It took learning new parenting skills and patience but it was definitely worth it. My husband and I are considering becoming foster parents and possibly adoption. Some I have bonded too and would love to take most of them home with me. She disappeared cause child protection services finally found out and yanked her out. So, I stayed with her, bandaged up her arms as best I could using my t-shirt, and just mended her for the rest of the night until I finally convinced her to come back to the home. I hadn't heard all the "horror" stories that i hear now about adopting older kids before i adopted him. Our judge was so ruthlessly efficient that he intimidated the lawyers and social workers assigned to our case to move as quickly as possible. My experience isn’t as bad as some peoples’, but I’m glad it wasn’t any longer than it was. Why the “Foster-Care-at-All-Costs” Crowd Will Never Surrender Their Horror Stories was originally published @ The Chronicle of Social Change and has been syndicated with permission. She also used to put me into ice-cold showers whenever I acted up or cried. They told me she left, they couldn’t stop her, they couldn’t leave to find her all they could do was ring the police. Once a fight broke out when one of the criminal girls attacked my foster friend, and the staff just sat back for a couple minutes to watch before intervening. I had to go to other peoples’ houses and the schools to wash. The daughters also called us slaves “jokingly”. With infants, you don't have to deal with school personnel...... That just adds to the fun! I feel that’s important to note. Give yourself a chance. Denied education and used for manual labor. These former foster kids took to the internet to boldly share the stories of their worst moments in foster care. On those days, hygiene is all of a sudden a priority, rehearsed speeches and quizzing are the most attention received to date, and the home is filled with the smell of a slow-cooking stew. Don’t forget to check the comment section below the article for more interesting stories! Then we learned about the realities of adoption. We only found out her name was Kyrie after we had a sub in science who she didn’t tell in time. Foster Kids Share Their Worst Orphanage Horror Stories. Those burns that ran through my back stayed there for years. All my clothes except what I was currently wearing at any given time were locked in the house. When you get married, you're technically marrying your spouse's family, too, and there's no guarantee you're in for a happily ever after with your new mother-in-law.She may be eccentric, meddlesome, or even a monster.. I almost failed my classes in high school because 10 teen girls in a three-bedroom house with two staff members and one van meant getting home from everybody’s appointments and grocery shopping and stuff at 8 p.m. Nobody was allowed to be in their rooms until bedtime, so no homework got done until 10 p.m. under my sheets with a flashlight. AVOID INBOX FOMO. Abuse and negligence was an everyday occurrence, and I had no idea that abuse wasn’t normal. I don’t want to go into detail, but it was awful. The lady I moved in with got mad at me and threw me off her lap and onto the floor. I was only in foster care temporarily when I was three (I’m 17 now). A laptop (it was a school laptop) and so many clothes. Trigger warning: This story deals with a personal account of a foster care experience that may be triggering for some readers. We get a knock on the door and it was my dad and his new girlfriend there to pick us up for good! I stopped believing in Santa that year. Back to Adoption & Foster Care. With foster kids you just know the cause of the issues is likely trauma related. The foster care system isn't made to create well adjusted happy children. I was painfully aware that the families I was staying with did not take me in for any reason other than money. From there we went to the second foster care. This happened a couple of times. Some have siblings. Have you ever been in the system? New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. The foster-care system ultimately wants to place children with relatives, and since our aunt was now older and in a better position to take care of us, that’s what happened. 88% Upvoted. I was in three different foster homes in 1.5 years. Despite getting the courage and reporting it to social workers, I was never believed. best. She has got more guts than me. Some of their stories are almost unbelievably cruel, but they aren’t fictional. I was so young, but some memories will never leave. Florida ex-foster care child here, so strap in boys and girls. Today, a year later, you wouldn't know. Many have ADHD, some have PTSD and/or associated issues like bedwetting/enuresis, and the like, but honestly they are almost all wonderful kids. Kids of reddit who were a part of the foster care system, what are some of your horror stories? hide. After getting some perspective, you’ll notice how very few things end up worth stressing over. I had to sit on the floor in front of the couch and stare at the wall. Foster kids are no worse than foster parents. In 7th grade, I had a friend named Kyrie, but nobody called her that. Aging out is the hardest. Learn more about what it is like to be in foster care from these real stories. I wasn’t allowed to shower. My brother and I were put into Foster Care when we were 3 after my mom tried to hurt herself. Our DCFS foster care worker changed three times and all three women were professional, courteous and conscientious. Scared Parents Revealed The Creepiest Things Their Kids Ever Said, ‘They’re Not Who You Think They Are.’ People Share Their Crazy Double-Life Stories. We left and went to all our known hangout spots, after an hour or two we found her, still in rough condition with some lads. You got in by either being taken into foster care and placed there, or you broke the law so many times that a Florida judge made you a resident at Arnette for rehabilitation. He then had to spend four months in rehabilitation. “I was not allowed to go to school. It is so encouraging to hear about your journey as we watch out kiddos struggle with sorting through blame, shame, and all the other emotions that go along with their early experiences. I was too scared to go to the bathroom, so I tried to pee out the window. The three boys have three different fathers. One night I woke around 2 in the morning feeling like something was off. Good times. Granted, I was misbehaving at the time, but Jesus Christ, it took me years to get over that. I remember being 18 and crying my eyes out because I thought I could be arrested for not being able to pay my electric bill or just bills in general. No, that other child did not turn out okay. However, when I started in school my then teacher took me in. They have learned not to trust. In my foster home, I had to bathe with the other foster kids at the same time. Oftentimes, foster kids end up in homes that neglect their basic needs, deny them love, and reject their humanity. Heard some horror stories. It is really sad and horrifying. The barn was cleaned out days after we moved in (we were sleeping on couches in the lounge in the meantime). I only ever got half my work done and I started getting into trouble for falling asleep in class. The smell was so unbelievably strong. She asked me what I wanted her to do, so I just said I didn’t know and left for my next class. But my biological mom fought it… for five years. No one is saying the case proves that Pennsylvania relies too heavily on foster care. It was a woman who took in kids who needed to go somewhere on short notice. The woman wasn’t always too nice to me though. Later that week, Cupcake Girl told me I was nasty and stank so bad no one could stand me. They have had months or years of being neglected and abused (even a newborn inutero), have been ripped from their families and homes, often have had multiple people fail to provide safety and stability for them, the SYSTEM often fails to provide safety and stability for them. So when I cried, I had to do it in the living room in front of everyone. Getting smacked so hard that I literally pooped my pants out of fear, all because I forgot to chew my food with my mouth shut. There is often a set of fancy, clean clothes that are never to be touched unless a social worker visits. Some have siblings. I live in horror every day. For information on adoption from the foster care system, visit the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Think about all the horror stories you hear regarding FKs and FPs. This thread is archived. The one client I had was actually bad in the legal and moral sense of the word. Becoming their foster child after being passed around the rest of my family and being rejected was really scarring for me. Please Like and Subscribe for more content! My grandparents weren’t bad and my foster home wasn’t bad but being pulled out of a loving home, the only home I knew, was terrible. My parents were desperately trying to get custody and I was told to lie by both my parents, their relatives, my own sisters, my foster parents, and most of my case workers but I wanted out badly. You really do need to prepare yourself for the worse. *Stephen is a fictional name for a real boy the world lost. Hell, I’m 49, that stuff is not going away….ever. Girl X was only three months old when she first came to the attention of Family and Community Services in 2001. Instantly concerned, I ran into her room and what greeted me is what I’d imagine a murder scene would look like. She’s 16 by the way. At the time, Woods was depressed and … I’m happy I was able to get out. For example, they made my sister and me sit on the grass and watch their bratty kids jump on the new trampoline they bought (I assume with the money they got from us). Adoption.com is not a licensed adoption agency or facilitator and it does not provide professional, legal or medical advice. From what I remember though, the children were very nice. The rest have been just normal kids. Another thing is that a lot of us are introverts due to being ostracized at school and having to live in overcrowded foster homes where we were just a paycheck for a terrible foster parent. ©2021 Adoption.com LLC, a service of The Gladney Center for Adoption. 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